|Some things we just don't want to hear.|
Photo by Ambro
Last week, we had a meeting with the Wrap team and E's ABA therapist. We went over the current plan and schedule and discussed what was working and what wasn't. Mostly what wasn't.
We've had a few scary instances with E. lately. These were relayed and discussed. Each ABA session so far has been one big non-stop meltdown. It's exhausting. Appointments are becoming non-stop meltdowns. We're all tired of walking on eggshells around E. Sometimes his meltdowns are unpredictable, but usually we know what will set him off. The reality, though, is that he has expectations to meet, including chores, and life is not one big party where you get to do whatever you want. Just this afternoon, he threw a hairbrush at my head because I reminded him that there was a load of his laundry that needed to be put away.
Residential treatment was brought up at the meeting for the first time as something that could be a real possibility. Even though I know that it's necessary for some kids, the idea is terrifying to me. If it gets so bad that E. has to go into residential treatment, I feel like I've failed. How many kids come back from residential with real improvement? It seems like the ones I know of are a lost cause. I feel like if I send E. there, I'll be washing my hands of him. I fear the judgment: "You can't even take care of your own child." "You sent him away to be someone else's problem." I would certainly feel that way, so why shouldn't everyone else be thinking it too, even if they are too polite to say it to me?
I don't know how to make this better. I don't know how to make residential okay.